Today, I came across a video of a mother sharing her miscarriage experience. It was painful to watch. The traumatic experience that she went through reminds me the difficult time of my pregnancy.
In the first trimester of my pregnancy, I had continuous spotting for more than a month. Even though my baby was so small that I couldn't see or feel him, I felt I was already connected with him. The fear of losing him kept me crying and praying every day. I prayed to God that He would keep this baby healthy and the baby would grow in full term.
It was the one of the hardest time in my life. I did one pregnancy test every day to find out whether the pink lines grows thicker. To minimise the spotting, I stayed in bed most of time. I also stayed away from most electronic devices and entertain myself with book only. Any potential harm to my fetus, I tried to avoid. A day was like a year.
Another challenge was from work. I took a long period of sick leaves at that time, which I never did before. It was very odd for my employer and colleagues to see me being absent for more than a week and I couldn't tell them my returning date.
I wasn't ready o tell them about my pregnancy at that time, because I didn't want people come and tell me how sorry they are if I loose my baby. So the only thing I could say was: I am very sick and I don't know when I would recover fully.
Two weeks later, one of my close female colleagues texted me: "How are you? We all miss you here. Do you if I ask: are you pregnant?" It took me hours to get back to her:"Yes, but please keep it between two of us." The conversation after this was a surprise. She shared with me her pregnancy story, which she never mentioned in all the years that I worked with her.
It took her and her husband many years to conceive. When she fell pregnant, she was already in her mid thirties, which was considered very late for her generation. She had heavy spotting during the first trimester and had to take sick leave for weeks. Similar to me, she stayed in bed for more than a month, and eventually everything went back to normal. She assured me that my little one would be fine. She even told me not to worry about work and focus myself and my little one.
Similar experience bonded us together. I felt encouraged and much more relaxed at that time. As both my husband's and my families were oversea at that time, my colleague's words were very meaningful to me. I saw hope, hope for my little one to survive.
Thank God my little was healthy and was born full term. Even though he has been much more fussy and stubborn than most babies and toddlers we have seen, he is cute, adorable, compassionate and kind-hearted.
As a mother, I am very blessed. I feel very thankful for my child. Really wish all the women who desire to have a child have an easy pregancy and safe delivery.
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